Emotional Intelligence in Leadership: Lessons from Children and Scholars

We’ve entered the world of digital nomads, hybrid work models, and mass scale globalisation. Now what? In order to make sure we stay in step with these rapidly changing environments, the significance of emotional intelligence (EI) in leadership cannot be overstated. Imagine a workplace where leaders neglect the nuances behind everyone's needs, leading to an environment devoid of empathetic understanding and effective communication. Leaders may have got away with this in the past, but not today. Younger workers have more choices. They choose who they will work for - do not feel beholden to any one employer - and walk with their feet if things do not suite. The impact - consequences which ripple through the workforce, impacting collaboration, innovation, retention and overall well-being.That sounds… less than ideal.

Before we dive into what children think, let’s take a look at what research shows. As scholars and researchers delve into the realm of EI in leadership, their insights offer a roadmap for cultivating this crucial skill.

Let’s Hear From the Experts

Listen to People

Hirotaka Takeuchi, a renowned scholar in organisational behaviour and leadership, talks about the paramount importance of self-awareness in leadership. Takeuchi's background as a Professor of Management Practice at Harvard Business School lends credibility to his insights. Without self-awareness, leaders struggle to discern their impact on others. He emphasises the pivotal role of seeking honest feedback, a sentiment echoed by Linda Stone, a former executive at Microsoft with expertise in technology and leadership. Stone's experience aligns with Takeuchi's emphasis on the power of self-awareness in preventing burnout.

Don’t be Afraid of Conflict

Takeuchi's perspective extends to the value of conflict in organisational growth. He introduces the concept of Gemba, the frontline for effective leadership.The idea with Gemba being that you actually go to the place where the value is created to see for yourself and understand what goes on. Something that happened automatically in the past, but happens less and less in this fragmented world.

Always Keep Learning

Daniel Goleman, the co-chair of the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations, asserts that relying solely on high IQ is insufficient for sustained leadership success. While leaders might experience success in favourable conditions without much emotional intelligence, Goleman highlights the essential need for emotional intelligence to navigate challenging situations and draw out superior performance from teams.

The positive aspect, as Goleman points out, is that individuals can enhance their emotional intelligence at any age. Despite a natural increase in emotional intelligence with age, specific leadership competencies rooted in emotional intelligence may not develop organically. To improve, leaders should seek honest assessments from trusted individuals, create targeted development plans based on real workplace situations, and receive ongoing support for refining their emotional intelligence skills. With a commitment to these practices, leaders can cultivate lasting emotional intelligence that contributes to their success over the years.

Empathy Loves Company

Ronald Heifetz, a seasoned leadership expert and Harvard professor, offers a broader perspective. While acknowledging the vital role of emotional intelligence, Heifetz contends that it alone is not sufficient for leadership. His extensive background in leadership studies positions him as a thought leader, advocating for leadership that couples emotional intelligence with other skills.Heifetz is renowned for his concept of "adaptive leadership," which focuses on the ability to lead in the face of complex and uncertain challenges. According to Heifetz, leaders must not only empathise and understand emotions but also have the courage to confront deeper issues and drive adaptive change.

Honourable Mentions

There are so many valuable opinions from doctors and researchers across the world, that these ones needed to be included in the conversation too. 

Dr. Travis Bradberry, with a background in emotional intelligence and organisational psychology, conducts a comprehensive examination of over 42,000 people. As the co-author of the bestselling book "Emotional Intelligence 2.0," Bradberry establishes an undeniable statistical association between annual salary and EI. His research brings tangible evidence to the benefits of EI, revealing that those with a high EQ earned £29,000 more than their lower EQ-scoring peers.

Dr. Gilar-Corbi and colleagues contribute valuable insights from a randomised controlled study, reinforcing the notion that EI can be improved within the business environment. Their backgrounds in psychology and behavioural studies add depth to the understanding of significant gains in EI improvement, particularly in the areas of psychological and physical health.

Dr. Svetlana Whitener, an Emotional Intelligence Executive Master Coach, enriches the discussion with a practitioner's perspective. With expertise in coaching and emotional intelligence, Dr. Whitener sheds light on the pivotal role coaches play in helping individuals become aware of and name emotions and behaviours.

In short, the bottom line from both scholars and research is that emotional intelligence benefits leaders and the people they interact with by positively affecting the well-being of both.

Learning emotional intelligence from Children

​​Despite their young age and limited life experience, children possess a unique and unfiltered perspective on emotional intelligence. Actually, this isn’t despite their young age. It’s because of it. This is why we can learn more from them than expected. 

Unfiltered Responses

Children are known for their unfiltered and unexpected responses to the world around them. Unlike adults who may evaluate their emotions based on social norms or expectations, children express their feelings openly. This unfiltered nature provides leaders with a lesson in authenticity. In leadership, genuine connections are essential, and children serve as role models in embracing one's true emotions without inhibition. As long as we make sure to remain mindful of others at the same time. After all, as we previously established, it’s all a balancing act. 

Genuine Curiosity

This is a fundamental aspect of emotional intelligence. Children exhibit an innate curiosity about the world, constantly questioning and seeking to understand. Leaders can learn from this curiosity-driven approach, engaging a mindset of continuous learning and exploration. Encouraging curiosity within a team can lead to innovative problem-solving and a dynamic, growth-oriented organisational culture with no such thing as silly questions.

Naive Courage

Children's resilience in the face of challenges is another aspect that holds valuable lessons for leaders. Despite their limited life experience, children are willing to just try things and then bounce back from setbacks with no scars in sight. Leaders can draw inspiration from this, learning to navigate challenges with child-like optimism and perseverance. Trying new things and embracing setbacks as opportunities for growth is a key element of emotional intelligence that children inherently embody.

Being Yourself

The transparency of children's emotional expressions is a powerful teaching tool for leaders. Children do not shy away from expressing joy, sadness, frustration, or excitement. In contrast, adults may suppress or mask their emotions in professional settings. Leaders can benefit from adopting a more transparent approach to emotional expression, creating an open and communicative work environment. This transparency fosters trust among team members and contributes to a healthier organisational culture.

By embracing all of these lessons, leaders can cultivate authenticity, curiosity, and resilience within themselves and their teams, ultimately fostering a workplace culture that thrives on emotional intelligence. The wisdom of children serves as a reminder that sometimes, the most profound lessons come from the simplest and most genuine sources.

Impact of Better Emotional Intelligence in Leadership

We’ve been talking about advice for a while now, but you can’t just talk the talk. Leaders who truly harness the principles of EI contribute to improved communication, stronger relationships, enhanced resilience, overall performance optimization, and so much more. Let’s take a closer look at some of them.

Improved Communication

Emotionally intelligent leaders excel in effective communication. By honing the skills of emotional expression, active listening, and empathy, they create an environment where team members feel heard and understood. This heightened communication fosters collaboration, minimises misunderstandings, and promotes a positive workplace culture.

Stronger Relationships

One of the cornerstones of emotional intelligence is the ability to navigate interpersonal dynamics adeptly. Leaders with high EI build authentic, long-lasting relationships. They demonstrate empathy, understand the emotions of others, and effectively manage conflict. Stronger relationships contribute to a cohesive and harmonious work environment.

Enhanced Resilience

Emotional intelligence equips individuals with the tools to navigate challenges with resilience. Leaders who prioritise emotional intelligence view setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable obstacles. This mindset trickles down to the entire organisation, fostering a culture that embraces change and adversity.

Better Overall Performance

The application of emotional intelligence correlates with improved overall performance. In various fields, including sports and business, practitioners have witnessed the positive impact of EI on goal-setting, motivation, and problem-solving. Leaders who leverage emotional intelligence provide their teams with a roadmap, paving the way for sweet success.

Let’s Walk the Walk: Practical Tips for EI in the Workplace

• Investing in Coaches and Training: Coaches facilitate self-awareness, helping individuals understand and name emotions, and behaviours. Invest in coaching to positively impact personal growth and workplace dynamics.

• Encouraging Honest Feedback: Trust is essential for honest feedback. Foster a trust-filled environment to turn feedback into a valuable asset for growth.

• Promoting Open Communication: Cultivate an atmosphere where every voice is heard. Encourage open communication to harness diverse perspectives and foster emotional intelligence.

• Fostering Empathy Through Team-Building: Engage teams in activities that build empathy. Shared experiences deepen understanding and cultivate empathy beyond professional boundaries.

• Leadership Training on Emotional Intelligence: Provide training on emotional intelligence for leaders. Equip leaders with skills from recognising emotions to conflict resolution.

• Balancing Flexibility and Structure in Workflow: Strive for harmony between flexibility and structure. Recognise individual emotional needs while maintaining organisational frameworks.

Conclusion

Think we missed something? It wouldn’t be a surprise! Let’s start a conversation on what else we can do to break the stigma around EI being out of reach, bringing it to the organisations and people who need it most.

(Spoiler alert: It’s everyone!)

By challenging the misconception that EI is static, we aim to shed light on the many ways individuals can consciously cultivate and enhance their emotional intelligence, and the many sources that they can learn lessons from.

Ultimately, to walk the talk of emotional intelligence, we must use the lessons from scholars, practitioners, and the unfiltered perspectives of children, to ask ourselves how we can improve the way we work, and the environments we work in.