CEO and Lonely at the Top: How can an executive coach help you through it all?

As Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg openly shared, ‘It's lonely at the top’. An opinion shared by many CEOs and leaders. You are standing at the helm, having to make decisions, motivate the team, navigate a long list of issues, please clients and investors, handle complexity and accept scrutiny, whilst also conveying optimism, a compelling vision and driving the business

. 

Then you go home and - as if nothing happened all day - you are expected to be (and want to be) a good partner, parent or friend. 

You may feel pleased and proud to be a CEO, having reached the pinnacle of your career. Maybe you have toiled to set up your own company. You have authority and autonomy. But at a price. 

The paradox of success and loneliness that accompanies leadership. The toll it takes on you and your close ones.

You have the burden of success - meeting daily and monthly targets.

You worry about cash flow - and more so since Covid. 6 months' wages in the bank may have seemed plenty pre-covid, but so many organisations during Covid got the nasty wake-up call that 6 months wages vanishes very quickly, and before you know it you are on the brink of bankruptcy. 

You have the weight and worry of the people working for you - and the responsibility that they too have families and commitments - the organisation must be successful, and you cannot let them down.

You may have awkward relationships with colleagues - people you just know you are not getting the best out of.

You may fear you have blind spots and don’t know what they are - people around you seem to just agree with everything you say. You may not have had any constructive feedback for years and yet you crave it. If you do - you are in good company - according to HBR, 70% of CEOs feel they get minimal feedback.

Maybe you are getting fed up with working such long hours and so hard. You may think that surely the time has now come that you don’t have to work so ridiculously late.

Maybe you want to invest in yourself some more - get fit - get a better work-life balance - get better results for your organisation, and have more fun at home and at work.

If this is you, read on to find out how an Executive Leadership coach can help you achieve your dreams of 2024.

#1. Help you FOCUS

Focus is the single most important factor for success. Yet it's difficult to focus when there is so much going on, so many opportunities and so many things on the ‘must-do’ list. 

An Executive coach will help create space for you to actually be able to ‘THINK.’ So you can work out where your focus needs to be - what to do -and more importantly what NOT to do.

Interestingly, clients often say the most valuable thing I do as a coach is to ‘hold the space for them’ so they can think. In this space, they can declutter their mind - and get clarity on where to focus and then… to focus on it. Bingo!

#2. Achieve your GOALS

It's not just about getting clarity on your goals - for yourself and for your business. It is all about the ‘WHY’. A good coach will help you not only define your goals but will help you explore why these goals are important to you and the benefits of reaching the goals (or the perils of not doing so). 

Gaining a deep understanding of the ‘WHY’ will significantly increase the probability of your reaching them.

#3. Accountability

We are all full of good intentions, but it's so easy to get waylaid! Were you someone who managed to get their homework in on time, but only because someone else set the deadline?

Executive coaches provide the accountability so many leaders lack but direly need. 

Through regular check-ins on milestones and commitments, a coach can motivate you to drive forward and meet goals. The mechanics can be tailored to what is effective for you. For one CEO it may be a WhatsApp chase midweek - for another, it may be weekly check-ins, for others meetings every 2-3 weeks may be effective. 

#4. Sounding Board

The executive suite is a pressure cooker, where decisions are made under intense scrutiny and with far-reaching consequences. You are expected to make the right decision and all eyes fall to you.

With some topics, you can talk to the team to get their input, feedback and ideas - but as CEO or senior leader, there are many times you cannot.

Who can you talk to?

This is where a coach can come in. As someone who is neutral and non-judgmental, who can serve as a confidential sounding board, helping you work through options, and clarify your thinking. You can explore scenarios without repercussions and without fear of judgement. They are not there to please, so can challenge, provoke and stretch you.

With the simple aim of doing the right thing.

#5. Cheerleader

Admit it. Who doesn’t need encouragement and cheering on sometimes? 

Personally, as a coach, I work with people I believe in. But sometimes they don’t believe in themselves. The saboteurs get the better of them and the chimp on their shoulder is chattering away. 

A coach can help you control these limiting beliefs. Stop you ‘chewing the cud’, going over and over something that did not go well, and re-rehearsing conversations that stop you from moving on and getting back to being ‘present’. 

After a bad day, they can help you dust yourself down, take a deep breath and get back to believing in yourself.

One coach I know calls himself ‘The Coach in the Pocket’ - he provides ‘emergency’ wisdom and encouragement on WhatsApp to faltering clients - geeing them up and getting them back on track.

#6. Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the bread and butter for Executive Leadership coaches. Leadership is not solely about strategy and numbers; it is fundamentally tied to emotional intelligence. Understanding and managing one's emotions and those of others is critical to effective leadership.

An Executive Leadership coach can teach and guide you to hone these skills. Helping you to understand yourself better, be more resilient under pressure, to get the best out of your team and generally equip CEOs to navigate the complexities of leadership with greater finesse.

# 7. Feedback

Feedback is a gift. 

The likelihood is that, unless you have created an extraordinary culture in your organisation, you will struggle to get good, honest, helpful feedback. 

Everyone needs feedback to grow. 

We need positive feedback to know what we do well so we can do more of it. Positive feedback is really important. Without it, we doubt ourselves and our self-worth. We also need honest constructive feedback on where we need to improve. We must know where our gaps are and we can do something about them. 

An Executive Leadership coach is in the unique position of being able to provide feedback - that may be gleaned from colleagues, shadow coaching or coaching sessions. They have no axe to grind, so will not shirk from telling you what you need to know.

Feedback, used constructively, is essential nutrition to help CEOs and Senior Leaders develop and grow.

#8. Real Return on Investment

Beyond honing leadership skills and strategic thinking, executive coaching’s core value emerges in human terms - the sheer capacity unlocked in people and relationships. 

Picture an organisation with a CEO operating at its peak. The positive impact they will have on their teams, the people they interact with, their families and society is immense.

A coach can help. Putting aside human relationships, in hard monetary facts, a good coach will pay for themselves many times over. 

A Harvard study empirically showed coaching drives a 5.7X ROI. 

More tellingly, 75% of participants admitted the developmental experience profoundly exceeded the investment made in fees and time. As the authors conclude; ‘Executive coaching was effective and provided a significant return on investment’.

Final Words

The journey to the top is a solitary climb, but it doesn't have to be a lonely one.

CEOs can overcome the isolation by embracing the support and guidance of an Executive Leadership coach.

From providing a confidential space for reflection to enhancing emotional intelligence and accountability, an Executive Leadership coach stands as an invaluable ally in the CEO's quest for sustained success.

In a dynamic world where the demands on leaders are ever-changing, the collaboration between CEOs and their Executive Leadership coaches becomes a guiding light, illuminating the path to effectiveness, resilience, and fulfilment.